There are lists of relationship red flags and things nobody should tolerate in a relationship. While in theory those look great and everybody should stick to them things are a little more complicated than this. What do you endure in a relationship? What is really crossing the common sense line and grinds your gears beyond repair? What do you do when your years-old relationship hits a rough patch? Do you go straight to the counselor’s office? Are you trying to fix things on your own? There are so many potential answers to this age-old question. But not all of the possible solutions to this issue seem to be the answer in these cases.
Chances are, all long-term relationships out there go through a similar phase, at a point in time. But people just don’t give up on these partnerships. They try to find solutions. Whether it’s a dead bedroom type-of-situation, whether it’s boredom or a lack of common hobbies and passions, there are answers to all these dilemmas. Keep reading below to find some great solutions to try when your relationship hits a rough patch.
Give each other space after arguments
Arguing in a relationship is just as normal as you would expect, but how you handle the aftermath of the incident matters the most. Most couples try to fix “what’s wrong” just after an argument has ended and this couldn’t be a bigger mistake. Give each other space after a fight and leave the other to cool off and get to know your point of view with a clear mind. What most couples do wrong is not offering each other the necessary space after heated arguments.
If you discuss these matters as soon as the fight ends, you will be preoccupied to defend your standpoint, rather than understand where the other person is coming from. Judge everything with a clear head in the morning, and the difference will be enormous.
Argue but in a healthy fashion
Avoiding this part of a relationship altogether is, nonetheless, wrong. Arguing can be healthy, and by eliminating it, you only let frustrations grow bigger and bigger.
In fact, all couples should learn how to fight productively and embrace arguments as part of a healthy, functioning relationship. A healthy relationship follows three steps in an argument:
- Embrace conflict;
- Don’t attack the person, attack the problem;
- Find points where you can both agree.
If you don’t follow this pattern, you will most likely end up attacking the other person, not the disagreement.
Breaks work in some cases
We know, you’re rolling your eyes already but, sometimes, breaks can really work. But to work, breaks should be based on clear rules and active reflection and introspection. Breaks give each partner to think of what they really want from a relationship and how the ideal couple looks like for them.
Clear some ground rules that are easy to understand and not ambiguous at all. This will help you prevent further issues, and they should reinforce realistic prospects of reconciliation.
Rekindle romance and bedroom life
If a dead bedroom is your couple’s biggest struggle, there are also solutions that will help you fix it. While most couples think that sex does get boring in time, and gradually completely vanishes, this is far from being true.
In fact, your bedroom adventures should only start to get better and better, by now. You already know each other so well, so why not put all that information to work? Be adventurous; you can even try some adult toys, if you’d like, communicate about your likes and dislikes openly and try to re-establish intimacy, if it’s no longer present in your relationship!
Vacations will help you bring improvements home
A change of scenery and a different routine than your usual will help enormously to keeping your relationship above the floating line or even fix what looks like a rough patch. Having a vacation together might help you realize that your rough patch is simply caused by monotonous routines and a too-busy schedule. In fact, you guys might still be just as in love as in the beginning, and your work and home life are grinding your gears.
Have a vacation together and learn how to function as a team again. Learn how to appreciate those traits that made you fall in love with each other in the beginning.
Pick up hobbies together
Date nights are surely fine, but try to get involved in other types of activities that don’t involve movies and dinner type of outings. Try new classes together; cooking classes, dance classes and even classes that develop your practical skills. These will practice your collaboration skills at a whole new level and will make you discover new things about each other, maybe skills you didn’t know your other half has.
Learn how to flirt again with each other
Many couples lose their sexual chemistry on the way. But this isn’t a reason strong enough to make you keep away from each other. Try to learn how to flirt again and bring back those early relationship butterflies to your stomach. Text each other several times a day and make your messages as flirty as possible. Try to act like you still try to win each other. This is a great way to raise arousal levels in long-term relationships. Plus, it will help you remember how and why you fell in love in the first place.
Give up on boring routines
When relationships settle and no worries that the other half might get bored, couples fall into boring routines easily. Try to break this pattern and do unexpected things from time to time, together. Do this in the bedroom as well, if your intimate life has gone stale and unexciting. Go do fun things together and fall back in the relationship. Just do anything that you don’t normally do as a couple.
These are some easy-to-follow tips and strategies that will help couples that hit a rough patch in their relationships rekindle the romance in a healthy and sustainable fashion. Try them on your own even if you’re not in a problematic relationship!